Move. Job. Breakup

I don't know why on Earth I can't get away from this!  My heart hurts and lingering in a place that only exists in my memory is really starting to make me mad!!  I function, but I think about this man every single day and I just don't have the room for it in my life right now, so it is becoming quite burdensome.

I have been in Nashville for just over a month now, and I am tired.  My move and the new job has taken a toll on me physically, and my breakup has taken the mental space.  I am happy to have the weekend to myself to recover and do just as I please.

I have three people interested in my house in Jackson, which is wonderful news, considering the sign is not even up yet.  I just hate it that I am in a 1 year lease on my current house.....I call it the 'doublewide" because it feels more like a big brick trailer than a permanent home.  I live in a small horseshoe shaped neighborhood right on the lake and all the other houses are two stories with front porches and plants and trees and flowers.  My house sticks out as "the rental" house on the street.  Never landscaped and no flower beds.  I won't dare put any money into this place - as I want to save every penny I can for my own home here.  But still, I pull up each day and miss the presence of color in the yard and trees to shade our afternoon.

My boss' last day was Thursday.  Talk about a bait and switch.  I was recruited to work for the CEO and on my first day, he tells me he has resigned to move back to Chicago.  I now work for the CNO, and as snobby as it sounds, I don't work for the second in command.  I work for the Chief.  It's bugging me and I will begin to look around for something else.  I sure wish I could go back to making the salary I made in Atlanta.  I pray about that a lot.  I just want to be comfortable again, and take good care of Evan.  I don't want to think I will always have to scrape by.

I got asked out on a date.  I am mulling it.  I wonder to myself that even if he is the most wonderful man on the planet, would he stand a chance, given my present state of mind.  It makes me all the more angry a TS.  I guess anger is a good sign.  It is supposed to be one of the emotions you experience when you are healing.  We'll see.

Thanks for letting me vent.  Tomorrow will be better.

LB