I was sitting this morning, just thinking about what a wonderful time this is in my life. I have a strength inside of me that I never knew was there and I feel so very proud of myself now. I have such tremendous joy now that you cannot believe!!
Tomorrow afternoon I have my next OB appointment. The beginning of month 5 if you can imagine that - and, I will get to hear the heartbeat of my child for the first time. What can be better?
Evan has been moving around quite a lot today. He is actually tickling me by my belly button and I am laughing at him, wondering what he is doing with his little teenie hands to make such a sweet, light sensation on the inside of me. This little boy is my joy, and this little boy is a part of me. I know now how the soul loves something so much that is created of itself.
I cannot believe that he is of my flesh and that his life is my life, one in the same. He breathes my air and nourishes himself from my choices of food. He is kept safe by the adjustment of every cell in my body and every hormone I could muster in the early days. He is the very essence of me, the very fiber of me and I love that.
Tomorrow I will get to hear the little heart that my body nurtured him to create, the heart who's blood moving in those tiny chambers was created from my blood. Our hearts are one...created from the same. Isn't that wonderful?!!?? Aren't I blessed beyond measure in this life.
So back to this morning, sitting on my bed, rubbing Lavendar oil on my tummy and just singing to my Evan - I just smiled from the inside out, and felt an overwhelming sense of peace in knowing that no sorrow can touch my heart to rival the joy that lives there and will remain the rest of my days.
xoxo,
Mellissa
