Hit & Run

I was thinking about those deer again today. The one I saw get hit on GA400 and the one lying helpless in the street in Peachtree City trying desperately to get on her legs again and remove herself from harms way.

Forbearing, forewarning - those two incidents were so meaningful to me personally! This is the last day of the first week of my 37th year and some serious housecleaning was done. I had to let go of a friend who was robbing me emotionally and to a man whom I was falling in love with. The first hit was the kill on GA400 and the second has found me damaged but alive and trying to get my legs up so I can remove myself from the highway where danger will return.

I realized that I am genuinely happy with myself - that I have come through some amazing trials in my life over the past two years and am emotionally and financially well. I am not toxic to others or confused about my past or where I want to go in the future. I thank God for that.

Even though it was hard to lock in battle with another person, hold my ground, stand up for myself and cut out the cancer, I did it. I have no animosity for the person that I was falling in love with - how could I? He brought me back to a closer walk with God and my spirituality and for a couple of moments in the span of time returned the smile to my face. I can stand proud knowing that I was loving and caring and dedicated to learning, listening and trying to understand what this person was going through. I hoped he was really ready to get out of the water, but the longer I stood at shore and waited, the more I realized that he was just treading water and had no intention of coming toward the shore.

So, I am off to clean out the attic - and, who knew that yesterday the attage for that was a metaphor for cleaning out my life. Green jersey clean and folded, washed with Tide and made ready for its owner - a lovely man with too much pain to get close to.