Today

It is getting late in the evening. There is something very comforting about this time of night. Only the sound of crickets and the occasional car passing below on the street. Tonight in Atlanta the air is heavy and humid - now there is a siren going off in the distance and the sound of a car door shutting. Someone is leaving home.

I took a moment to pull my hair back into a ponytail again. It feels soft against my fingers and a small strand is tickling the back of my neck. Maggie has just found a resting place beneath the outdoor table and is listening to the night sounds with me.

As usual, my work day was a long one and I came home to dinner alone - Cheerios's again and a movie to keep me company for the first part of the evening. Lance will be flying again tomorrow. I am not sure where this leg of trips will take him but imagine it somewhere in the isocoles triangle that I am becoming familiar with.

Alyse returned home again safely and I am missing her - more than she can imagine. I am still turning over thoughts of Ted and what I bore witness to yesterday. I wish I were more disconnected in my feelings, in my need to reach out and fix everything. It is so in my nature to rush in to correct, to bail out. I cannot imagine how I can stand by and imagine what is happening to him - but that is what I must do. I wish I could stop thinking about it. It is a nagging, sinking feeling that makes me feel a little sick. It is like reading the last chapter of a book and knowing the ending. None of these stories end differently.

My wonderful friend and co-worker received some bad news today and as it was being revealed to me and an understanding ear was needed, my boss called with his demands and controlling nature. It is funny to watch someone so powerful obsess over minutia. I felt a loss in the defense ridden telephone call. On the witness stand again. Defending what I know, how I work - it is 60 days away - we don't need to panic over it right now. Yes, I understood what needs to be done - No, you don't need to explain it again. I am too busy right now working on getting your wife's Nanny and the dog on a flight. Funny that this is my priority in life. So can it.

Maggie just hopped up to investigate some noise and feeling satisfied that she did not need to put on her rotweiller suit has come over for a snuggle. She is so awesome. Dogs are way better than most people. I just wish they could talk!

Well, that is my story for tonight.

Mellissa