Is It Natural?

Is it natural to tire of Christmas? Not the true meaning of it, but the whole production of it. You see, I am tired of "Christmas."

There is this tree sitting in my house that I want to take out to the curb and let someone who really wants it, or can't afford one of their own, to take it. Someone who has children who would be soooo excited to have one - a real one 7 feet high and shaped so perfectly.

You see, I was not into Christmas last year either, but I did the whole dog and pony show and I was miserable and pretending. After my parents went to bed I sat in my room and cried myself to sleep on Christmas Eve. This year I wanted to travel away and meet my girlfriend in Zurich. Since that did not work from a timing schedule I decided to stay home. I did the tree thing and house thing and began to get excited again. Then, just one day later events changed course...

Now I am getting ready for Christmas. I am angry and hurt and did I mention angry... well I am. I don't want this tree sitting in my living room, I don't want a reminder of what I hoped would be or the deception leading up to the purchase. I don't want the pretense of jolly ol' Christmas. I want it over and gone.

Instead, I am going home. I am going to a place where I am loved and I know it is real. I will celebrate the true Christmas this year. A small gift of love for my family. Given in the right spirit and in celebration of our Christ, who is the greatest companion and love we will ever need.

You know, this "Christmas" was taken from me in a wave of deception; but maybe that is not such a bad thing. I guess I just needed some truth.