The Same Today

I remember when I was five years old and a kindergarten student at Hobe Sound Bible Academy in Florida where I grew up. My teacher was Mrs. Marjorie Brown and I loved her like my own mother. She has remained a constant force in the back of my mind and was one of the models of love and learning in my life. She taught me to read sentences and form my letters, big and small and gave me my first Beeka book – it had an owl on the cover. I loved that time in my life. I was a tall girl, even for five years old and wore my hair in two braids. I think I was the child who was the helper, even back then.

One day, my brother Samuel, who is three years older than me, forgot his lunch in the car when my mother dropped us off for school. I remember him saying it out loud when she pulled away. We were ushered to our classrooms, mine far away from his, as the kindergarten was housed in the chapel area about a half-mile from the main campus of the Bible College. By the time I arrived to my classroom, the weight of thinking that my brother would not eat that day was too heavy for a little girl to carry and I was crying inconsolably. I was too young to know that lunch could come from other sources than my mother and that my brother would be fed from the cafeteria that day with the other third graders. I explained the situation to Mrs. Brown through my crocodile tears and shaking shoulders. I loved my brother so much and could not go on with the day until I knew that he would have food. I told her that I needed to go to him, to share my lunch with him so that we would not go without.

Mrs. Brown walked with me the half-mile to his classroom, comforting me each step of the way with assurances that we would help him and that all would be well. I needed to give him my offering in person. No messenger would do. I needed to see for myself that he would be well.

We arrived at our destination and my brother was called outside so I could share half of everything with him. When I saw him and provided enough to cover his needs the smile returned to my face and the little girl with the Laura Ingles braids could return to life again knowing that the one she loved was cared for and well.

In a lot of ways, that is exactly the person I am today. Not only to my brother, whom I still love with an amazing clarity, but to others. It was said somewhere that I love with conditions, and that is partly true, we are human after all, are we not? However, my only condition for love is that it be returned to me and that it be cared for by those I entrust it to. I love that God made me with a tender heart and a soft spirit. I also love that he made me with a backbone and has taught me through his words that love is patient, love is kind, love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up.

I try to carry that into my relationships with others and I pride myself on the way I conduct myself with honor and fidelity and compassion to those I love. I try to put myself last in the face of the needs of others – after all, I am blessed far more than I deserve to be. God has provided amazing blessings in my life and I am going to hold on to that, hold my head high and never hide my light under a bush! I am an amazing woman, full of love and compassion and good will to others. I am a catch, I realize my worth, and I thank God for making me this person. I am proud to say it out loud, because it is through God’s grace that I am this woman – he made me in his image and I am blown away by his love for me and for thinking enough of me to give me the special gifts I possess.