I am realizing more and more the importance of being fully "You" in this life. I am a unique and wonderful woman. I thank God and my parents for instilling in me the best and the simple. I love the fact that I am feeling so much more comfortable being in my own skin, and showing others the real me.
Yesterday, Greg said that I sound different on the phone than in person. Part of that is that I am becoming more comfortable showing him me, and not worrying what he will think if I do this, or press that button or say what is on my mind. He thinks it is the tone of my voice and my accent. I know that it is something much different. He just is now seeing the "me" that my parents know, that my brother knows, that my very, very close friends know. She has a different voice and way of saying things. She is softer and more southern that he is used to hearing.
Today was the last session with David. Today was a re-cap and evaluation of my progress over the last two months. He thinks that I have done well. I think so too. I told him that I have no stress in my life for the first time in 16 years, and more fully so since the last 4, which have been a non-stop assault of heartache, guilt and surviving endings. Today and I am at peace. There is only one thing which causes my heart to pang a little in nervous anticipation and that is Greg.
I am here in Jackson, Tennessee with him and I have been thoroughly enjoying myself, just being normal and digging in the dirt and cooking dinners and laughing and nurturing myself by nurturing him. I don't think that he is emotionally available for me or anyone else for that matter and that makes me a little sad. I will move on one day, and know that I will always look back at this time and wonder about him and what could have been. I love him in the sweetest way. I want to tell him that often, but I don't. Not that I am not being true to myself, but I don't want him to feel bad about it, or awkward. I love him as I love my friends, and that is a great thing in life. I nurture, I love and I dream, and it is the very essence of what makes me a woman and a great partner and hopefully one day a great mother!
So today I am going to continue to smile and to enjoy my time away, the smile across my face, my love of life and the wonder I feel at God's goodness. This is truly the happiest time of my life because I realize more than anything that "Being You" is the very best way of being.
xoxo,
Bug
Yesterday, Greg said that I sound different on the phone than in person. Part of that is that I am becoming more comfortable showing him me, and not worrying what he will think if I do this, or press that button or say what is on my mind. He thinks it is the tone of my voice and my accent. I know that it is something much different. He just is now seeing the "me" that my parents know, that my brother knows, that my very, very close friends know. She has a different voice and way of saying things. She is softer and more southern that he is used to hearing.
Today was the last session with David. Today was a re-cap and evaluation of my progress over the last two months. He thinks that I have done well. I think so too. I told him that I have no stress in my life for the first time in 16 years, and more fully so since the last 4, which have been a non-stop assault of heartache, guilt and surviving endings. Today and I am at peace. There is only one thing which causes my heart to pang a little in nervous anticipation and that is Greg.
I am here in Jackson, Tennessee with him and I have been thoroughly enjoying myself, just being normal and digging in the dirt and cooking dinners and laughing and nurturing myself by nurturing him. I don't think that he is emotionally available for me or anyone else for that matter and that makes me a little sad. I will move on one day, and know that I will always look back at this time and wonder about him and what could have been. I love him in the sweetest way. I want to tell him that often, but I don't. Not that I am not being true to myself, but I don't want him to feel bad about it, or awkward. I love him as I love my friends, and that is a great thing in life. I nurture, I love and I dream, and it is the very essence of what makes me a woman and a great partner and hopefully one day a great mother!
So today I am going to continue to smile and to enjoy my time away, the smile across my face, my love of life and the wonder I feel at God's goodness. This is truly the happiest time of my life because I realize more than anything that "Being You" is the very best way of being.
xoxo,
Bug
4 comments:
Does he realize what a lucky man he is? Probably not... That's too bad.
You certainly have a wonderful grasp of the word.
Amen. I soooo love to read your writing and expression. I see so much of myself in many of the things you write - I only wish I could convey it as well as you do.
You are a wonderfully sweet and caring person and one day the right man will find the treasure you truly are. Hugs!!
Picture me standing and clapping to your post. I am standing there not to give approval, acceptance, or permission. I am standing in acknowledgement and praise. As you look over seeing me smile a small nod is shared. Many of us do this Mellissa including me as you are a great writer and express yourself so honestly. Clap Clap Clap...
Lovely, simply lovely!
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