Give Me A Break

O.K. I have really had it with women's fashion magazines. I won't even go into the same ol' same ol' articles that each one has each month - I glance at them in the supermarket and just smile to myself thinking that they are like a big ol' bunch of recipe swappers - each magazine writing about the same things, just changing one ingredient...

What frosts my rear is the "fashion" spreads.... I am just gonna rant for a second here and then be done with it. I AM TIRED OF SEEING 15 YEAR OLD GIRLS MODELING WOMEN'S CLOTHES. Whew, thanks for listening, I almost feel better now....but not quite.

I want to see WOMEN modeling women's clothes. I want to see a $3000 dress on a woman that can afford it, that has the patina of experience, that has smoldering, sexy eyes that let you know she has seen and done some things. I want breasts that are mature filling out the dress and curves that fill out a womans body. I don't want to see little girls playing dress up in Nina Ricci or Chloe or Oscar de la Renta!!! I look at these little girls and want them to be over in the Gap Kids ads or Abercrombie & Fitch where they belong!!! Lovely little things that they are and I can fully appreciate them, but GIVE ME A BREAK already.

I want to see my girls on there - women I would go out with and have cocktails and gossip with, women who know about a great Barolo or who have been to the opera or have had a baby or lived life and its ups and downs.

So, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Mademoiselle, Glamour, W and all the rest of you. Get off your butts and hire some women to do the work. That is what we want and we are the ones who are buying those clothes for the types of events I listed above.

Thank you.
Mellissa

Rosemary Beach Break

Here are a few pics from my weekend at Rosemary. I am now off to unpack one suitcase and prep another - I have two days to get ready to go again....Zurich is rainy and 58 degrees and Barcelona is 80 degrees and sunny plus work stuff - so this is going to be an interesting packing assignment ;-)

I leave Thursday evening for Zurich and will arrive Friday morning - in time for a quick nap and then a train ride to Kuesnacht where I will meet up with some folks for lunch. Saturday is girls day with Pascale and a night out on the town! Sunday is a relaxing day with a trip out to see Pascales' mom and dad and then Monday it is off to Barcelona.
Since work does not start until a cocktail reception on Wednesday night it will just be some prep meetings and fun with the gang. They are all taking me out Monday night for my birthday dinner and since Matt Digweed from Manchester, UK will be there - it is sure to be a rowdy night!! I got my assignment for the conference and I will be moderating the panelists and speakers for Track 5 of our conference - Banking and Information Technology - have to brush up on my timing to keep the schedule clean and the long-winded Bankers on target.

I spoke with my boss yesterday and asked if he could refer me to a position in London with some contacts he has there. I am ready for a change. If this does not work out, I am thinking of soliciting a position with IBM there. There might be an opportunity for me in Tampa, Florida or another here in Atlanta. Wish me luck. The changes are in motion now and I am quite determined to live them out.

Hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day - and that you remember to take a moment to thank those who put their lives on the line for our freedom both past and present.

xoxo,
Mellissa

Sometimes

Sometimes we can capture a moment so brilliantly. Sometimes that moment is digitally preserved for our memory bank, and sometimes it is etched in our heart, or in our mind's eye.

This was one of those moments for me - a simple kiss that lasted well after the photograph snapped. A wonderful sunset, a beautiful beach, and two people who were just enjoying the simplicity of being together.

HJR, thank you for the wonderful weekend away.

One of My Favorites - Rosemary Beach

Well, we are here - and it is magical. Rosemary Beach is one of my favorite places to go, and somehow I always end up here around my birthday!

Jim and I drove down yesterday, and in true man fashion he did not use the directions I printed out, saying he knew the way down to Destin, Florida - and he did....that is a first ;-)

We spent the afternoon out at the pool and riding our bikes and relaxing a little. When I got to the pool, I was thinking about Mexico again.....

So things here are going well and I am happily relaxing in my nightgown while Jim is out on a 15 mile cycle. I would have been game, but when you put on your bike shorts and training jersey - count me out. I am a little more about flip flops, bike baskets and sundresses right now. He can go be manly while I sit here and sip coffee...

I will write another post this afternoon or sooner as I have some other thoughts bunking around...thoughts about a monster ;-)

xoxo,
Bug

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler—Let The Good Times Roll. ...

Well, I have decided to start rolling again. I want to go back to the way I used to be - and travel is my passion!

With that said, I am off this weekend to Rosemary Beach Florida with Jim where we will spend the weekend in a beautiful carriage house at the beach.

The following Thursday I will leave for Zurich to spend time with one of my dearest friends, Pascale and we will finally have that catch up time we have needed. A long weekend in Switzerland for my 38th birthday!

That Monday (my birthday) I will head to Barcelona for a week of part work and part play with my co-workers at IBM.

So, Mexico, two trips to Florida, Zurich and Barcelona in under 30 days. I think that should do it! I'm BACK!!! ;-)

xoxo.
Bug

I Thought About It

I saw it there, paragraphs of a backwards apology, finger pointing with the words written to make us equal by saying "I may have done this, but you do too", as though apples and oranges were the same because they are fruit.

It is funny how people use the word "We" to deflect what should solely be taken on as "I" - in an effort to make it easier on themselves.

You see, I don't agree with this philosophy in life, if you act alone, or something is one-sided, be an "I" and make it stick. Don't dilute your responsibility in something by saying "We did", or "We are not" or "We keep on.." 'cause no, "We" don't, but you do.

So this morning as I sit here with my coffee - I thought about it, for a moment before writing this and allowing it to be set free out of my mind. I am reminded once again that some doors are to be left closed, and that you cannot offer friendship to everyone.

What Does Today Bring

What will she write today.....what will we click and find? Will it be the happy-go-lucky girl, or the one that life kicks a little from time to time. These two things make me un-unique, I am just like everyone else I know, except for the small fact that I Blog and it is accessible to all.

My thoughts for today are pretty random, so I will just jot them down and let you see what is for you and I will know what is just for me ;-)

• Unexpected presents rock - THANK YOU.
• I have a reader daily from the UK - Who are you?
• Maggie won't eat her breakfast - spoiled dog!!
• am_pm - what a wonderful email - I will write you soon!
• I am sorry about the loss of your friend L.
• My fingers still smell of spearmint & eculaptyus - hmmm.
• James Blunt rocks and I will never listen to "High" the same way again.
• Simplify your projects and accomplish one thing at a time.
• Smile more often - it makes people think you have a secret - and maybe you do...
• My toes are brown and it reminds me that being outside is a gift.
• I wish we could be a "we" - because "we" are awesome and simple.
• Good tomatoes are the stuff of legends. When was the last time you bit into a really good one?
• Bryce has the most beautiful child I have ever seen. The world needs to watch out for her!!!
• I am at a crossroad in my life.
• I dream of running away and living abroad. I could totally do it. I might.
• My 38th birthday is weeks away....I love who I am at this age.
• I am unsettled - in a good way.
• I keep thinking about the lie you told. Shame on you, I hope you reconcile it with yourself.
• That tattoo of Vera still makes me laugh.
• I miss the beach. I am ready to go again.

So that is it in a nutshell. I was told recently that I am a "hard nut" and I think about that a little. I am not, I just show that side to people I don't know. I think it throws them off a little.

Hope you all are well - and happy.

xoxo,
Bug

Recovered

Well I think I am going to make it! I just got my second wind and am watching Maggie run back and forth in the yard looking for a chipmunk. She just rocks!!

I can't believe the change in the weather from Mexico to Atlanta. I left sunny and 94 degrees and am now in breezy 72 degrees!! Life is in full-swing again and the phone is ringing and emails are coming and chats with friends are making me feel restored again.

I love looking down at my feet and seeing the mark of vacation sun on them - I keep playing back through the week, thinking of the friends made and the memories that will linger with me long into old age. The night we arrived at our hotel, 200 members of the British Army descended on the hotel - fresh from a jungle training course in Belize for six weeks. We were adopted by the boys and protected each and every night. It was nice to sleep out on the beach, knowing we were flanked by some pretty strong men who would let nothing happen to us. We in return laughed at British humor, learned a lot of Army slang and danced the nights away. We handed out Advil and Benadryl and shared our music and our sun block. We shared dinners of wine and steak and were serenaded by musicians.

So, in short, we went to Mexico - we got some sun, we laughed a lot, we made some friends for life and we healed. No detail about us went un-noticed from our toes to our eyes and we were complimented in genuine appreciation. It was lovely. I am glad I went! Thanks Lads!

Cheers~

A New Day

I could feel it as soon as I woke up this morning. It is a new day - I am un-tethered and standing fully alone. I don't feel much of anything at all actually, perhaps just a little bit of resignation and a little peace.

I am ready for a big change in my life. I can feel it, something different is coming. I have an idea of what that is, but I will keep it to myself for now. I can say that I miss my family and I am tired of living so far away from a support structure. No one can be an island - I am beginning to realize that.

HJR - I hope you understand why I said we could not speak again. It is just for my health right now. I woke up this morning and wanted to tell you one more thing......but I won't. Please know that I will miss you very, very much.

Well, I am off to shower and take this day by the thumb and make it kneel before me. It will be a busy one - and I am looking forward to stepping back into my routine.

x0x0,
Bug

"Maz"

You offered your ear buds to me as you stood and made your way into the sea. The song played through and my breath caught in my throat. How fitting I thought to myself as I watched you walk along the shore towards the beckoning turquoise.

The quiet one of the group, always watching, rarely speaking. The gentleman soldier with kind eyes. The song said everything - Thank you and may God bless you during your seven months in Iraq.

- Travel Journal - Cancun
May 2006

Home Again

I'm back - sitting out on the back porch enjoying the humidity-free evening, drinking some Earl Grey tea and thinking back on a great week.

Two photographs - that's all - because what happens in Cancun stays in Cancun.

Remembering

Swimming in lazy circles with the sun overhead we were. Idle talking and bursts of laughter from the chorus behind. Sombrero wearing lads on floaters, erupting in songs and cheers - so happy to have left the camp behind and the mosquitoes that threatened to carry them away.

Sitting on the shoreline making holes in the sand with our fingers we sat. Relaxed together and comparing notes about what our every day life was like back at home. Sand on toes and hair curled from salt spray - lips that stung from sun and wind, and smiles carried the afternoon into the evening.

"Scotland" hit his head on the bottom of the pool and made revelations that were truth in hindsight, but just a joke in the moment. Blue towels were carefully counted and returned to Jose, while the Peacock's called out to each other and signaled the approaching dinner hour. Retreats were made to rooms for showers and changing, and a red-checked shirt showed off the mark of color from the day.

Sitting on an incline on the grass you were, under a palm tree - enjoying the change of latitude. Wicker chairs and the approaching sunset called us to partake a little longer in the breezeway and the shutter of the camera clicked away, capturing the sweetness of that moment forever.

We danced together before we danced with friends. There was laughter and congo lines, sweat making circles on shirts, smiles that left trails on the corners of our eyes. Fish that swam below the dock illuminated just for you and me as we left the others behind for a while.

As we retreated into the night, I thought to myself - "This is as sweet as it gets in life." As the taxi driver turned up the music and turned the car towards "home", I closed my eyes and fixed it all in my memory. Thank you TC...

- Travel Diary, Cancun 2006

Going Away

I leave in a few hours for Cancun. I am looking forward to some downtime and some simple times with friends.

This has been a difficult week for me so I hope I can truly escape what is in my mind and heavy on my heart.

See you all next Sunday.

God bless you!!

Mellissa

Knowing

It is really hard to know something you are not supposed to know. It is difficult to stand still, to keep quiet to process and to stay on your course.

Your mind races with thoughts. The fact that you knew in your mind already the event does not make it easier in confirmation. You tell yourself not to process the image, not to deal in the emotional impact of it as you don't know the meaning or the intent. It is not yours to handle, to deal with. Yet there it is, pushing forward on you while you are pushing it back.

Besides, you already knew in your heart that it happened, the rest doesn't matter anyway. It is simply choosing where you go from here that matters.

So, Mellissa - where do you go from here? Take a deep breath and push that image back one more time. You can do it.

The Giving and Receiving of The Ring

We have long heard and recognized these words as part of the marriage ceremony as the priest or reverend blesses the bands that will be the mark of a covenant between two people. Like God's love, it is a circle, never ending.

My story is a little different. There is a Starbucks on the corner, it is a busy one in little affluent Brookhaven as there is lots of disposable income to spend $4.50 daily on a Venti Non-Fat One Splenda Latte and the parking lot and inside are always full.

On my way to my Small Group Bible study on Wednesday's, I usually drive through and order a tall coffee of the day and say hello to Ruth, the cashier that seems always to be standing in the window greeting me with the biggest smile I have ever seen. She always asks about Maggie and if I am on my way to Bible study. I like our little connection. I love her genuine smile, I love her simplistic warmth and good nature.

Friday night I stopped in to have a little something and to write emails to friends before heading home to bed and sure enough, she was there and we met standing, instead of me in the car. She immediately grabbed my hand and squeezed it before feeling my ring and pulling back to remark on it. "oooh, is that from Tiffany?" "I have wanted that ring for a while and I am trying to save up enough money to buy it." I let her try mine on and she remarked how soft the mesh was on the ring.
My order was ready and I proceeded to take my seat and type and reflect on really how lucky and blessed I am in my life. The ring that was one of my favorites was not such a big deal to me. I did not have to save up to buy it, I did not dream of owning it a year before I bought it. But she did...

In that moment it was impressed upon my heart that I was to share my gift with Ruth. That she was to have my ring, my favorite - that she was to experience the joy of receiving from the heart. I have never felt more peace than the moment I removed that ring and walked up to her with a smile and told her it was her turn to enjoy it.

She looked stunned and then started to cry and she hugged me and thanked me over and over again. I told her to pay it forward to someone in her life and how much seeing her has meant to me over the past year and what pleasure I took in sharing this symbol with her.

As I left to go home I realized that God had worked through me in the giving and receiving of the ring. It was God's way of making a covenant with Ruth. I was so happy to be the deliverer of the message!

Happy Monday everyone.
Mellissa

There Are Times

There are so many days I think about you and hope for you and ask for you before even myself. Sometimes when you have no idea, I am thinking of you and wanting your circle to be complete.

There are so many moments since I met you that your love for me penetrates the exterior frivolities of my day and I am thankful, silently that you are with me. Sometimes you have no idea that you are such a big part of me.
There are so many times that your words guide and give comfort and healing to me, love steeped in logic and care. Sometimes you don't know that I repeat those words to myself when I am unsure.

There are so many things that I want to thank you for that you don't know you have given to me. Sometimes I try to show you my thanks with a hug or a squeeze of your hand.

Kerri, thank you for all that you are and all that you give. This is my sometime to let you know that I love you - dearest friend.