Long Enough

It has been long enough, there has been too much discussion, too much dissection, too much hope in the wrong direction. You and I have both made choices on what is important, on feelings that matter the most, who is priority, who is a friend. We will stand on those conclusions and we both will feel the impact of those decisions. Bitter pills for sure, but at least medicine is swallowed.

I hate that this is our conclusion, but at least we have found one. I will try to be your friend in the most respectful way I can, still considering my feelings and what I need to do to thrive and be happy and make a clear path for the most important relationship for us, our Son. In other life matters, I won't be that person for you. You have plenty of others to call, others who's feelings have mattered more than the request I made from you.  I must respect your choice of what we are to be and begin to walk that line, which is farther removed than multiple daily phone calls permit.

Things which were once shared will now become private matters, things that friends don't discuss with each other. It has been a long time coming, and the conclusion was heard loud and clear yesterday. I feel for us both, I feel for you the most because of what you are going through. I do care very much, I care, I care, please know that.

I won't call you on a daily basis to talk about life and Koi, and flowers and recipes and stories of life or feelings or to listen to music or songs shared over the phone. I really gave it time and nurtured it though the most trying time of my life. In the end it was not enough and you can't help the way you feel. As a result I can't help the way I react to that request. It will feel different around me now and for that I am sorry. I can't help the way I feel either.

The rest is for our son and we will survive and love and give all things for him.

Be well NBG and goodbye from my heart to yours.

Ladybug