Last Night

Tonight is my last night in my old house - and although I am really happy about that, I am also dreading tomorrow with the move and all.

Lance is flying and Maggie really isn't helping me any - and I am not at my healthiest or most motivated. Nice combination.

But, I will get it all done - before the mover's arrive tomorrow - and I can start unpacking everything again tomorrow afternoon. Oh, and I need a drill.....

Did that sound like complaining....SORRY!!!

M

Why?

I went out to lunch today to run some errands and some thoughts wen't through my mind as I made my way up and down the aisles of Target.

1. Why do nurses wear such hideous outfits (scrubs) with like all these shirts with little animals and sayings and smiley faces all over them. Why are they always purple or bright pink or powder blue and a size too big? Now don't get me wrong, I really, really respect what they do, I just don't get the outfit - there was a lady today who had on a top with pink pigs all over it.....where is the dignity in that? I would get it if you worked in a children's hospital, etc. but what I want to know.....

Is - what happened to these "Old school" rockstar nurses who wore white dresses with little buttons at the waist, a cool white cap, and white hose that made their legs look like cream being poured in two lines into their shoes?

Could you imagine Dr. Welby, M.D.'s nurse wearing Pokey the Pig? I think not.

So, nurse ladies out there. Give up the Looney Tunes and tennis shoes - or at least wear solid colors to work. I know it sounds mean, and I don't mean in that way, but you are a trained professional that SAVES LIVES.....do you really need to wear candy canes and pumpkins on your clothes for that seasonal effect.

Thank you... and moving on.


2. Why is it so hard to find the "Original" of a product?

Let's use Tide for example. The old ad says Tide's got what woment want (ha ha)...so, I just wanted to buy Tide, the powder kind, original scent - again OLD SCHOOL - and for those of you who have read my Blog know that I believe in Original scent Tide over all others....anyway, I digress.....I just wanted TIDE - not Springtime Fresh Tide, not Tide with Downy, not Ocean Breeze or Mountain High, or LowSuds Rainfall Tide, or Tide with Febreeze (yes, it is true) or ColdWater Tide or TideFree Tide, or MapleNutCruch Tide - just Tide. The way it used to be.

Remember when we had the market addition of Tide with Bleach and you had two choices? Now you have 13 million but can never find just the original. I won't even go into powder vs. liquid!!! I left without finding TIDE. Ya know, sometimes "What Women Want" - is just the Original (and not just with laundry soap)!!!!!

Thanks for listening,

Mellissa
(Retro Fan)

The Answers

The Answers
10 years ago- I was 27 years old, and lived in San Francisco with my ex-husband Ted. We lived just north of the city and I worked downtown on Battery Street as a project manager for an engineering firm, closing military bases for the Clinton administration. The projects that I worked for with the Army Corps of Engineers included Fort Ord, Fort Hunter Ligget, Fort Point Naval Shipyard and my proudest accomplishment - The Presidio (we turned it from military quarters into parks and greenspace with a public golf course for the people of San Francisco). I was young and idealistic and loved my job and the people I worked with. That same year my husband, who was a HazMat specialist in the Coast Guard was seriously injured while on an assignment and our world turned upside down, causing him to retire from doing what he loved, us moving to Florida and starting our lives over....a process which took over everything for the next 9 years.

5 years ago- I lived in a beautiful little house in Alpharetta, Georgia on an acre and a half with a beautiful yard and a garden, still married to my husband and working in the technology sector. I was fortunate enough to be a part of the dot.com phenomenon and experience first hand the behind the scenes creation of a software company that ended up being acquired in one of the largest software deals in history. Millionaires were made, memories were forged and friendships that are still going strong were a part of this time. Then we sat back and watched the bubble burst, saw people who did not plan for their newfound wealth lose everything they bought to pay Uncle Sam and return to life as normal again....and be happier than they thought they would be. Living proof that money brings headaches!!! My biggest memory of 2000 was sitting on my back deck with a glass of wine with tears in my eyes because the enormity of what had happened to me sank in. I remained the same and did not change my life over the newfound blessings - and I was soo glad that I kept my head and my life just the way it was before....as it made it easier when it all vanished into thin air!

1 Year Ago - I was divorced, moving into the house I am currently moving out of, dating a man named Jeff, working full-time as a Realtor and just learning to enjoy life again - I don't think I was completely at ease with my new life and was still hanging on to the past a little bit, but I was definitely making progress.

5 Songs I know the words to- Fly Me to The Moon, Amazing Grace, Making Pies, Mary Had A Little Lamb, Pink Martini - Sympathique (French).

5 Things I would do with 100 Million Dollars- I would get a great financial manager, build a small cottage on the coast somewhere - perhaps Medocino, California where the views above the Pacific Ocean are awe inspiring, buy an apartment in Paris and a small home in Provence and split my time between them. I would start a foundation that would create houses and support for abused teenagers who want to go to college - House mother and father, counseling, full tuition to University and job assistance (the founder of Chick-Fil-A does something similar to this and it is AWESOME). I would have a small high-end shop that carried all things French like soaps and linens and artisan creations that I would purchase during my days in France (tax write off for the travel to and from France). Most of all, I would have my family around me all the time - lots of great vacations together and being an EA I can arrange it all with no problems!

5 Places I Would Run Away To- France, Prince Edward Island, Switzerland, Mendocino, Wyoming.

5 Things I would never wear- Mules, A Hairnet, Limegreen Eyeshadow, Granny panties, fake boobs.

5 TV shows - Don't really watch t.v. but I guess... The Bachelor, The Apprentice and Inside the Actor's Studio on Bravo - was a Sex and the City junkie but now have them all on DVD.

5 biggest joys- My dog Maggie, my friend Pascale, waking up in Paris, spending time with Lance, and travel.

5 favorite toys - My Blog, my cellphone, Lance's sander, my digicamera, my Avatar.

A Repost - Moving On ( I DID )

I am moving on. You will be surprised soon when I drop that on you. Plans are in place, meetings are set. Choices bring power - you have forgotten that. Go ahead, say something else to me, you will be the one left speechless. There are bigger fish, and bigger ponds. Go ahead, MAKE MY DAY!!!

Update:

Now I can look back at this post and laugh at you. I kept my word, I have moved on. I am not your doormat anymore. You just pretty much suck as a human being and I don't respect you at ALL. Take your money - count it slowly - because it is the only thing you have going for you. The rest is all fake and WE ALL KNOW IT - yes, ALL OF US.

Sad isn't it???

My Little Bud

I have this little dog - named Maggie and she is just the coolest. She is my little bud and I am NUTS about her. I know, girl and dog scenario.....however, Maggie really is a person in dog suit. I got her a couple of years ago after having to leave my two Golden Retrievers with my ex-husband and we have been rollin' ever since. She is a Cocker Spaniel and now that Lola is not around for competition, her puppy-like personality has returned full force.

We are a team running this little house in Atlanta.

Arrested

The nut guy was back at my house on Friday morning. Calling out for his cat and feeling pretty entitled to walking around my neighbors houses like he belonged here.

I was glad that Lance was home and when I saw the man again I called the police. Lance went out and confronted him, the police came, and after checking him out it was discovered that he had stolen credit cards, cash, stolen checks and Crystal Meth. Needless to say he was arrested and taken away.

I hope they keep him there for a while. It really unnerved me to see this man's face again, to realize the capacity that he is living his life in and to think that he was in my back yard late at night lurking about. I will be moving soon - but not soon enough to stop worrying about going to sleep at night. This one really got to me.

Rambling Thoughts

I want to lie down
Next to you
To be held by hands
Twice that of mine
To follow strides
Twice that of mine

I want to know that
You see me
Love me
Accept me

Don't tear down
The house
Because of one wall

It is not the foundation
That is to blame
If a house feels too small

Use your skills as a carpenter
Skills as a man
If men can move mountains
Then they can move sand....

A New Home

I have a new home. A sunny little townhouse in a very beautiful part of Atlanta called Brookhaven. No more Meth addicts in my back yard. Moving day is September 9th. More photos later.

I Have Had It!!!

Tonight is another chapter in crap in my life right now. I just returned home from an evening of looking at houses and stopping by to reconnect with a friend when I saw my neighbor Michael outside my house with a flashlight.

It seems that a man was in my back yard tonight "looking for his cat" and surprised my neighbor by coming over my fence (and I have a 10' privacy fence) into his yard. So, the police were called, security patrol in my neighborhood was notified and the man was told to move on. Well, 30 minutes later he was back at my house again, hiding behind some bushes beside my driveway and Michael caught him again, told him to go away and police called again! Typical story strung out man, unsuspecting woman!

I am exhausted. I know sleep will not come tonight, so I am not staying here. I saw that man this morning one house over when I was leaving from work and did not think too much of it, just taking note that he might be the new guy down the street. Just knowing he invaded my space, my private area has me completely unnerved. I am heading out now, to sleep in a more secure location until this is sorted out.

I have never felt more vulnerable in my life. I am tired of it all. I think it is time to play the smart girl card and move into a condo with a doorman. At least then I am guaranteed a good night of sleep and coming home without having to have my neighbor walk through the house with me to make sure no one is inside.

No more city, no more house, no more crap.

Sleeping

I want to go to sleep but somehow I can't get there. I lay down and then the thougts start and I am back and forth, one side and then the other and back into the middle again.

So, I am up on the porch. It is 3:00 a.m. and there are two owl's talking to each other. It is haunting and beautiful.

Maybe I will sit right here until the sun comes around.

Morning

Well, I did manage to get a few hours sleep in last night and I am late for work again. I should care more, but I really don't. The disconnect has happened but I don't want to leave my co-workers in a pinch either.

I will just finish this second cup of coffee and get on with it in a few minutes. I was looking at a cutesy house in Decatur, Georgia but something did not feel right about it and I sent an email this morning letting the woman know I was not going to take it, so I am back to square one again - for about the umpteenth time.

I have been thinking this morning about really letting go. It is not easy in life to do that. I prayed about my relationship a lot and gave it to God truly over the 4th of July weekend. As I am sure all of you who read know that the relationship has ended. While this is a really painful time for me personally, I have to keep going forward because I have to trust, without a doubt, that God knows what is best for me and the one that I love right now.

I was in a relationship that mattered to me on many, many levels and I even though I am reminding myself to breath right now, I have no regrets and still thank God each day for the introduction for what this person gave to me. I hope God used me to leave some meaningful things to him as well. I think that is important. Even though this is a rough time - I still want the very best for those I love. I truly want happiness, peace and love to return to the equation in their lives and I respect the courage it takes to step away and work on it instead of remaining.

The past three years have been painful learning experiences for me as well and I need to be filled too. I am in a cycle this past nine months of taking a lot of emotional cuts and I realize that I can't remain standing that way anymore and have ended or lost three relationships because of it, important ones at that. My best friend, my boss, and now my boyfriend. I just have to trust that God is leading me to a healthier place and I continue to have hope.

I had really hoped (secretly) to be heading out to Denver this weekend to meet up with a group of people whom I really liked a lot and wanted to know better. While this is not going to happen now, I am still so excited that the trip will be all good things with a family who is really very nice and has the cutest little boys ever. I will tune in for photographs next week and live vicariously in that trip through the digital images.

To those of you who have been so supportive of me - thank you - from the bottom of my heart. I might not know what is in store for me right now, but I do know that I loved, I do not point any fingers or place blame for life just being what it is.

My shield this week is:

For they that wait upon the Lord
Shall renew their strength
They shall mount up with wings
As Eagles

They shall run
And not be weary
And they shall walk and not faint.

Here is looking forward - onward, upward. Still bruised, still sad, still in love - but hopeful.

Mellissa

It's Raining Again

It's Raining Again
There is a respite in sleep
An hour of peace in slumber

Eyes open and the room
Comes into view again

Tears spring
From half closed eyelids

It is raining again
The skies cry with her

She puts one foot on the floor
Forging ahead

She is not broken
Just feeling the loss

For it is in letting go
That we receive.......

Don't Feel Sorry

Don't feel sorry for me - I am not broken. This did not destroy me. I will not stand in the middle of this and cry out forever. I will not punish others for the residuals of this relationship. I am not broken - I am simply down for now - paying respect to the genuine feelings I have for someone who I love. Someone I could not "fix", I could not love enough for two, I could not be kind enough to erase the past, I could not praise enough for correction.

I am going to cry - over and over - I am going to remember all of the positive things that were special to me. I will listen to the music you love and made me love and eventually I will only see it as music I love. I am going to reach out to friends, I am going to humble myself in their presence and allow them to see my pain. I am going walk around with a knot in my chest. I will have a visible hole, I will mourn.

But don't feel sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for mysef. I simply feel. And that makes all the difference.

Missing Lola

I had a really great dog named Lola. I raised her from 5 weeks of age and really had bonded with her. A month ago I had to give her up because I was working too many hours and did not feel right about how many hours a day she had to spend alone in her pen. She is in North Carolina now, living with two other Springers - and a family who is home during the day.

Sometimes in life it is hard to let go of something you love. But I am learning to let go when it is the right thing to do. I still miss Lola.

Vladimir

I have a really great group of friends in Atlanta. The kind who are there for you when you need them. I tripped on Maggie getting out of the shower this morning and sprained my ankle.

I managed to get myself around by crawling to the other room, getting dressed and calling Vladimir to help me tackle a couple of things I had to get done today because my boss is coming into town tomorrow.

So thanks Vlad - for the help today, for reminding me that I am a beautiful woman and for making me laugh. You are just the best ever.

Mel

Hypothyroidsm

I have post operative Hypothyroidism. That just means that they are having a hard time getting my body to absorb my medication and I have my blood taken every few months to monitor how I am doing.

For those of you who have no idea what a "thyroid" is....It is a butterfly shaped gland that sits at the base of your neck and controls your body's metabolism. It also ties into your adrenal glands, pituitary and endocrine system. Under active or Hypo thyroid means your body does not produce enough hormone to keep you going and your entire body slows down - sort of like starvation mode. Hyper thyroidism means you are getting too much and your eyes bulge out and you are speedy (adrenal response).

Anyway, two years ago I had a complete tyroidectomy and now rely on my meds to run the show. I am just thankful that I did not have thyroid cancer as the feared, so I will take the rest as it comes. In the past two years, I have lost nearly 40 pounds of the weight I had gained when I had a non-functioning thyroid. It has not been easy, but I am doing just fine and am really proud of myself. Losing that much weight when it takes twice the effort of a "normal" person is no easy feat.

I have about 10 pounds more to go and have been behind schedule on that because of working too much, paying attention to others needs ahead of my own again and trying to maintain some semblance of order in my life.

But all-in-all I am feeling great and I think I look pretty good too. I won't give up on getting my shape back. But at least a shape is not all I have!

Moving North

I have decided to move north. Back to the suburbs, back to normal. I will only need a small place, just enough room for me and Maggie.

It will feel good to go home again, out of the city, back to seeing families and minivans and life the way I know and love. I will choose a house with lots of light and sun-filled rooms. I will hope for hope again.

I am on my own now, room size is not a consideration any longer, nor is location.

Olmstead's Oaks

Frederick Law Olmsted Sr. (1822-1903) is the acknowledged founder of American landscape architecture. The term landscape architect was coined to describe his work in creating Central Park in New York City. The success of that historic commission launched Olmsted into a career that would enrich the lives of generations of Americans through the design of magnificent public spaces. In Atlanta a visible legacy of his creative genius is the Linear Park in Druid Hills, the last suburb he designed before his death.

Tonight I stood on top of a fallen Oak tree, lying beside was her sister, and stretched along the park, many more who were uprooted by the storm last night. They were mammoth oaks planted by the master designer of American parks. These weren't just any oaks, they were Olmstead's. Tonight I stood atop a small bit of history of our city. A spot where countless generations of Atlantan's have taken rest, where children of the Victorian age played.

Linnear Park in Druid Hills was also the place Lance and I spent our first day together, laying in the sun on a quilt, surrounded by those beautiful trees. They will be missed.

Freaking Out

O.K. I took the day off from work today (in my world taking the day off means working at home on my computer with my assistant till 10 and popping into the office for an hour by 3) to look for a house.

I am freaking out. I realized that I really only have two weeks to find something, and for those of you who know me finding the right thing is really hard because I am soooo picky. I don't want to live in anyone else's' crap and pay a fortune for it. Plus, I am changing jobs so I can't decide to move closer to where I will be working or to a little area of town that I love! Anyway, part of the factoring in my decision is also a really big Canadian who needs a fair amount of space and fills half the room with body size (6'4) and the other half with personality.

I will be working from home in a little while, so factor in home office space and TA DA, you have got one heck of a scenario....oh yeah, and I need rock star closet space and a big bathroom to hang out in when I need to escape from 6'4, big personality....

I am looking at a house tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. so wish me luck......now it is off to get cutied up to meet Lance and his cousin Paul tonight. First impressions and meetings on a day when one is freaking out is not a good thing.

Repeat with me...."I am calm, I am calm, I am calm"......LOUDER people - it is not working!

See you tomorrow -

Nearly homeless in Atlanta

Baton Bob

I live in "Midtown" Atlanta, Georgia. It is referred as Midtown because it is the area that lies between the Burbs of Atlanta and the Downtown Skyline.

We have quite a character that is known as "Baton Bob". I call him the Midtown Majorette. As I was making my way to look at a house today, there he was, in a black tutu with pom pom boots and a feathered marching band hat, twirling away.

I remember the first time I saw him on the corner of Piedmont and Monroe where I live, and there just happened to be a large group of runners out that morning, so I thought it was a promotion or something for the runners ('come on folks, we do have the Peachtree Road Race after all) so there was on my bike, cracking up at the spectacle.

Then I saw him again - different costume, no runners! I asked some friends of mine about what I was seeing and they all seemed to know "Bob" as part of our urban culture club!! I am attaching a link so that you can see for yourself. And, before you judge him based solely on his look, keep in mind that Bob volunteers at the the Cancer Center at Children's Health Care of Atlanta and seems to have a heart of gold.

While I might long to see families in my neighborhood, and want men at my local grocery store to check me out and not each other (or my boyfriend) I am learning to appreciate the diversity and differences in people more and more each day. Bob is a fine example of that.

I think the photograph says it all - Remember to SHARE the road!

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/0305/31batonbob.html

The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia

Well, we are getting a tapper! All the electricity has gone out and the skies are rockin'! trees are snapping branches and it is AWESOME. What a strange way to get quiet back! I have candles lit in the house and of course, the battery on the computer to keep me company - but all I hear is the rain and Maggie chasing her tennis ball around the house in the dark. How cool is that.

My meetings in Chicago went off without a hitch, but of course, I was like a mother hen calling up to check on my assistant non-stop. I think she will kick my butt tomorrow. My bosses' wife called me yesterday to tell me that "I suck" ha ha for leaving my position but that she totally gets why so we had a good laugh about it and I told her I would mail her the book "Control Freak."

I have been getting a good laugh over a lot of the Blogs lately, trying to read more through linking from one Blog to another. Some people are so hilarious. One of my new favorites is the Mullet Blog - you know, the redneck hairdo!! Paul, Rob and Karenlea are the twisted souls behind that one. If things are getting a little to serious in my life, I go check out those Blogs and crack up.

Well, I think I am heading to bed and to take that ball away from Mag's.

Night!

Can't Get It Together

It is 9:15 a.m. and I am still sitting at home. I can't get my rear in gear to go to work. I am really tired today and should just hook the coffee I am drinking into an IV.

I really want to play hookie - and look for a new house. I have been stalling, and just when I was about to pull the trigger to stay through September, my realtor called and said that the young couple who looked at the house on Sunday had decided to take it. I knew I should not have cleaned so well before I left the house - or left music playing for them. Dang it - now I have three weeks to get it all together and move. Mix that in with starting a new job on the 15th and WHAMMO, I am on the gerbil wheel again.

Bye!

I Am Missing Paris

Oh man, I really wish I could go to Paris again. I am sitting at home right now dreaming about it. I know all the places I would go - let me share with you what my day would look like.....


1. Fauchon - (Fawshaun) My all time favorite chocolate and gourmet shop! There is a girly pink awning that welcomes you and a really chic little tea room adjoining the front entrance.

Little cookies in all colors are stacked up in pyramides in the windows, chocolate strawberries in tuxedo suits line the second tier and bon bons line the lower. Chocolate coffee, chocolate covered nuts - Willy Wonka has no game on this shop.

There are usually well-heeled ladies with impecable hairsytles leaving the shop with the small bits of decadence tucked inside bags that say FAUCHON boldly around the bag - a note to all passing by you that you have incredible taste!! Yummmmmmm.


2. Marche Aux Puces St. Ouen (marchay o puse santwon) this is THE flea market that you hear about all the time, antiques, Armoires from the coast of Normandy, gold gilded mirrors that you are sure must have belonged to Napoleon and miles and miles of interesting objects. Most tourists look for this sweet spot, but never find their way to the real deal part of the flea market, as the metro map only takes you to the part that is full of cheap knock-off Nikes and Louis Vitton bags.


This is by far the treasure chest of all world markets - but it is not for the novice. These folks know exactly what they own and will hold firm on selling for the fair price, but the dealers will also invite you at a moments notice to sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee or a pastry with them, when they are not napping in an antique chair......


3. Notre Dame. I push my way past the throngs of tourists that crowd around the door and make my way inside to sit and pray each time I go to Paris. It is a magical place for me and absolutely awe inspiring.

Chandeliers from centuries ago still illuminate the Cathedral, bathing statues and marble in golden light that balance a myriad of colors from the stained glass mirrors. Concerts here are a treat, usually consisting of a small quartet of strings. The music will bring tears and reverence.


I always light a prayer candle and leave uplifted, pushing back through tourists that never made it past the front door carvings......ces't dommage (it is a shame).





4. Cafe De Flore - Gas lanterns, ham sandwiches on crusty baguettes with lots of butter and salads piled high on plates with vinaigrette dressings and poached eggs on top.

Interesting old men smoking cigars and reading Le Monde (French version of the NY Times). Artists chain smoking and drinking double espressos and laughing with friends who meet up daily to discuss the world at large and their own artistic sufferings. French film stars from the old days, well-suited businessmen and me, sitting quietly reading a book, drinking Cafe au chocloate and eavesdropping in an attempt to better my French. Always interesting.

I would be tired by this point as I would have walked to each destination except for the taxi to the flea market. I would meander the streets through the Quartier Latin (kartier latan) back to my hotel in St. Germain to day dream about tomorrow's adventure.......

A Few Nuts

O.K, I hear you and have decided to come around a little. I have heard from more of you than I expected. Some with posts here on the Blog, some with emails and telephone calls and then those who walked into my office to ask "why" even my old boss noticed......scary.

So, I am writing my true thoughts for this morning. Is it true that actions speak louder than words, or do we listen to the actions of a person and disregard the spoken intent. Which is truth - or is truth a combination of the two?

In church on Sunday this young whippersnapper gave a sermon that really hit home with me. It was about the Holy Spirit being your "operating system" like in a computer..... It was the first time that I realized that "voice" inside you that tells you "wait a minute" or makes you really not want to do something or makes you question something is really the Holy Spirit asking you to use caution in making a decision that may not be right for you. Awesome eh! I know now that the Holy Spirit works overtime giving me those feelings as I feel that most days I am walking a mine field lately and there is only a couple of areas in my life that I have complete peace.

Anyway, in catching up, I am leaving tomorrow to run some meetings in Chicago. That voice inside me is saying "no way" about heading up there, and I am struggling with just sending one of my assistants in my place and listening to my operating system about what is the right thing for ME to do. I will keep you posted.

I know you all have been reading some of the past posts about Bumper Cars and Battle and Fight or Flight and most of you have probably thought they were all about Lance (haha) but the majority of them were about my boss and the way he treats people. I have suffered 8 months of emotional ups and downs at work the like of which I have never seen before. I know now what they mean by battle pay!!!

Well, after turning myself upside down and inside out, questioning my abilities in work, crying, being angry, standing my ground, rolling over and trying seventy two ways to Sunday to make this man happy I finally said enough and began preparation maneuvers to leave the company I work for.

I have really been in prayer about my situation and have been really worried about how I would continue to survive the emotional thrashings I was taking on a weekly basis - when the telephone rang. It was a voice from my past. Someone I have known since 1998 and, someone I know who has wanted to try and get me to work for him for quite a while but our timing was never right.

So, last Wednesday, God answered my prayer in a larger way than I ever imagined. The job came to me, in total compensation and benefits I will come out ahead of where I am now. I can work from home when I want to, get up and go to the bathroom when I want to, go to lunch with my co workers when I want to. And be wanted again - and appreciated for the unique job I perform - God gave me more than I asked for - he always seems to do that and I am grateful.

Well, it is almost 8 a.m. and I have to get ready for work. Not too much longer now with the Titan......

Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a really wonderful day today. And to Lance, I have really enjoyed spending time with you - finding normal.

Mellissa