I woke up heavy hearted this morning and reflective. Turning over events of the past couple of years, wondering why it happened. Feeling a loss again of my best friend, wishing that I had been cherished, wondering if something is wrong with me.
A phone call came this morning from a new person I allowed into my life, delivering a bad blow to me. I kept listening, not speaking, not having the words to say anything, but reeling and feeling myself sicken. I could only reply something short and press the button to end the flow of words coming in my direction. I don't have the heart or the stomach to deal with this anymore. I didn't have the emotional ability to "play nice" and be understanding. Not today.
You see, today would have been my 15th wedding anniversary. I did not need anymore hurt to remind me. But more hurt I got.
xoxo,
Bug
P.S. To the person who called me today, and who is logging on to read this blog. Please go away. You are not welcome here. I hope when you look in the mirror, you are ashamed of yourself.
9 comments:
Ouch.
Want me to beat 'em up? ;)
Let me at 'em.... :)
Be good to yourself today....
Hugs-
Despite the historical date, I hope God blesses you today, and maybe cuts his phone service off, too. JK!
-D-
-D-
I hope God cuts off more than his phone service ;-)
((just kidding))
xoxo,
Bug
Hey, it is good to learn how to move away from whoever causes sadness, anger, frustration, etc, whoever tires you. Be selfish, you deserve it already!
M
sorry you had to go through that from your ex. hopefully he won't do that again. Have any kind of contact with you, that is.
Tomorrow will be better. Try (and I know it's hard sometimes) to put the hurt behind you and stay focused on the positive elements going on in your life - and I'm sure there are many!! :o)
Sorry to hear of your exasperation and frustration. If your god won't handle the castration for you, we will.
Hi Green,
My ex was not the one who called me. He is a decent man..our story was just sad, but he never hurt me in 13 years of marriage.
The man who hurt me was a new person that I was dating. I will be just fine, it was just the wrong day to do something that he did.
I am just tired of fakes and men who are not sincere.
Thanks!
Mellissa
I am actually doing a lot better today. I just am getting sick and tired of the male / female dynamic.
I pull in and I reflect. I heal and I get perspective. I steel and ready myself to have an open mind and remain trusting.
Then I step forward...and WHAMMO.
Just tired of the cycle and trying really hard not to become a man hater.
xoxo,
Bug
What a jerk. Why do some people like being the bearer of bad tidings? The one to crash someone's day?
I remember a "friend" of mine in high school who loved being the one to tell me that she saw the boy I liked with another girl, heard something hurtful about me, etc....and I've watched my daughter endure some of the same. I tell her it is insecurity on their part, as well as envy; realizing they are missing something lovely within themselves.
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