A Quiet Interlude

Sunday morning is here and slipping quietly by as I sit at my desk and watch the last of the leaves roll by with each gust of wind. Maggie is curled up on my desktop sleeping soundly on her quilt and Dave Koz is playing on the stereo, ushering in the holiday season in a way that is peaceful and reflective.

I have been thinking of this past year, thinking about my life and my blessings - and there are so many. It is funny when I take time to reflect on the past eleven months, I am humbled by my blessings and my life.

While my existence is ordinary, just like everyone elses, the reflections of today make them seem extraordinary. I wanted to share a little with you in reflection.

January - a new job full of promise, a new relationship filled with laughter and adventure friendships that were secure.

February - Valentine's Day flowers, a wonderful trip to Charleston for the weekend, great wine, bundled up in a coat walking the banks of the river, dreaming again. A trip to Jamaica to warm in the sun, to spend the days on the beach and continue dreaming and laughing. A Jamaican man who called my "Beautiful Lady" each time I saw him. Pink champagne, cute sandals and ace card games at night.

March - Germany, France, Africa. Strolling the streets of Paris in the wee hours of the morning. Listening to music at Hotel Costes, dancing at Barrio Latino, shopping for antiques. Africa for the weekend, Marrakech and Casablanca - mint tea, ancient walls, orange blossom and cinnamon, Fatima with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Wooden doors carved with care by ancient craftsmen - desert sun and lunches served al fresco.

April - A new relationship, a kindred spirit, Easter flowers and brunches with friends, a sweet puppy growing bigger by the day.

May - Warm days in town, laying in the park on a blanket listing to prose and watching the tops of skyscrapers as clouds passed by on their journey to the unknown. A trip to Hilton Head for more beach time with friends.

June - a difficult month for friendships and relationships, letting go of some things, holding on to others. Growing another year older. A trip to San Antonio and meeting great people. Falling in love again, adoring a special child. Eating great bar-b-q, Texas style. Beautiful Spanish Missions and more warm weather and smiles.

July - family time. A trip to my parents and hiking in the Pisgah forrest. Waterfalls and bannana peels out of the sunroof, sliding down a rock into freezing cold water and lots of laughter. A baseball game with fireworks and jet planes and paratroopers falling from the sky.

August - A new job, returning to those who know me, finding home at work again, renewing old friendships and preparing for a new home.

September - Labor Day in Canada, hot tubs and cold nights with fires lit, a christening, walking under the great night skies and feeling so happy.

October - Dancing again, feeling my feet move and my hips sway and laughter erupting from deep inside me again. Working on making my new home all my own - lots of paint and fabrics and time with my mom doing what we do best - making home!

November - Small group gatherings, new found friendships and comfort in where I am now. Family visits to Atlanta and Thanksgiving in Florida feeling the sun on my face and sand in my toes - while holding my daddy's hand and watching my brother do the same with his daughters. Magic, plain and simple.

December - stay tuned :-)

You see, I don't remember the trials right now, or the sad times. I look back on this year and remember the blessings, the love, the travel, the experiences, the smells and mental images from far away places. I remember all the things that I am blessed with - 2005 has been a great year. What a wonderful life I have.

What a joy it is, and how lucky am I to have had all of this in such short order. I realized today, that I am living my dream. I am happy.

A Family

We are in South Florida at my family home for Thanksgiving.  It is 9:30 a.m. and coffee has been served, breakfast made and the turkey is on! I had the breakfast shift, my sister-in-law is on stuffing, and Nana teaches my niece how to sew using the Singer sewing machine -  the sounds of Tijuana brass is accentuated with the staccato hum of the sewing machine.

 A grandfather reads a book while a son is working out in the yard .

The second niece has found sleep on the top bunk while the aunt finally writes another post before heading over to walk on the beach for a hour or so.

This is our life, this is our Thanksgiving, we are a family, we are joyful, we are loud :-) We are blessed.

I hope your Thanksgiving is equally special and filled with love.

Dancing and Other Joys of Life

Tonight I had my dance class and Andrew and I worked on our Salsa, Rhumba and Waltz. There was a young couple in the studio tonight who were taking their first lesson together. They were preparing for their wedding and wanted to be ready for their first dance as man and wife. So there they were, as stiff and nervous as can be. Really cute but uncomfortable. They were looking at everyone else instead of each other and he was stepping on her toes an awful lot.

The song of choice for them was LeeAnn Rimes "I need you" and I was cracking up as it is really hard to dance the salsa to that music. That is when Andrew and I launched into our Waltz. It was a beautiful, slow one with care given to hand placement and long graceful lines. The instructor stopped the couple and asked them to just watch Andrew and I as we worked the floor and you could see it beginning to make sense to them both. The dance is about grace and companionship and relying on the other person to complete your connection and match your togetherness.

They both were so excited to try again, realizing that this first dance was a reflection, in motion of their commitment to each other. Andrew and I moved on into a little flamenco style dancing and laughing as I told him about the woman in Riverdance and mimicked her style. Twirling and stomping my feet like a Senorita. It was a great evening.

I am so happy to be dancing again. It is truly one of my joy's in life.

Mornings

It is 8:13 a.m. and I am half into my first cup of the day. I feel a little drained today but will forge ahead soon forcing a smile and getting on with it.

My mom was here this weekend and we had a lovely time together even though it was much too short. We went to see Riverdance and I have to tell you, it was sooo amazing to see. There were dancers from Russia and Ireland and Spain and for over 2 hours the Fox Theatre was filled with the sounds of percussion as feet and heels clicked and stomped and created magic. Mother and I had great seats in the Orchestra section because I had to see the feet! That is what Riverdance is all about so down front we had to be! It was a wonderful memory for us both.

I did not go to church yesterday and I feel a little disconnected this morning as a result of it. For many reasons I just thought it better to stay home and get a few things in order so I could pretend for a few more days to have it all together. I took a drive down near the airport and watched some planes fly in and out and dreamed for a minute about where those people were going to and coming from and thought about getting my trip in order to go to Florida for the Thanksgiving holiday.

The afternoon was lazy and I went to a matinee to see the new Meryl Streep / Uma Thurman movie and although it was funny, it was about love and romance and maybe not such a great idea for my viewing right now - but Meryl Streep is Meryl Streep right!

Dinner last night was some crackers with cheese and a pear and surfing around on the internet and then watching back to back episodes of My Fair Brady on VH1 (I am sooo gay) before chatting a bit on line with 30Something and then falling asleep on top of the covers.

I awoke this morning to a phone call from my boss who was in a panic and I started phone jockey service before even the first cup of coffee which did not start me out on the right foot!!


Now I am one cup down and much more awake. I am sitting outside with Maggie, the birds are singing, welcoming the morning sun and I am surrounded by the most beautiful colors. Everywhere there are shades of orange, red, yellow and ochre. God gives us such a beautiful memory just before Winter. It reminds me that even the end of something can be beautiful and remembered for its vivid colors and soothing sounds. Winter is ahead, and Spring will follow it. Just like life, hope is hiding inside during the Winter months waiting for the renewal of Spring.

It is a beautiful thing! Good morning everyone, and I hope your day will be filled with many great things! Be well!

Two Faces of Eve

When I was a little girl, I can remember wondering what I would look like when I was "all grown up". I wondered how my face would be as I aged and what my style would be.

It is funny because tonight I realized that I am all grown up now. This is my woman's face. There are no hints of youth anymore, no baby fat to hide the lines that are forming around my eyes. Three years ago I looked different, but time goes by for each of us. There is no Botox to hide what my eyes have squinted at for 37 years. So this is it. The second half of the play and I am the grown up now.

There are two distinct looks that I carry. One is for my work (or as Lance like to call it - my librarian look) and one is for my everyday. It is funny as I look at them both side by side, because they also mirror my personality. I am a Gemini and there are two distinct sides of me. One is bold and sophisticated and comfortable in board rooms, opera houses and five star restaurants (Ladybug), and the other loves fleece and jeans and eating bar-b-que and listening to country music (Silver Comet Girl).

So as I sit here tonight and reflect on who I have grown up to be, I embrace both sides and realize that I don't have to change that to be one or the other. They are both just me, and that is a nice place to find myself in the beginning of life's second act. I finally got to see "her" face and I found out that I am just what I imagined.

Saturday

My mom is here and we are enjoying a cup of coffee before heading out for a day of shopping and lunch and a trip to the Fox Theatre to see Riverdance.

My mom got to go with me to the dance studio last night as Andrew and I danced the Cha-Cha and the Tango and then worked together on learning new steps in the International Rhumba which is much different than the American Rhumba which I normally do.

It was such a treat to have her there and she is the first person in my personal life who has ever seen me dance. I think she was a little surprised and really seemed to have a good time watching Andrew and I and the way we move and execute the dances.

I got a pretty good compliment from Andrew, as we went through a really intense Tango - he said it is my best dance and that made me happy because dancing Tango is my favorite (maybe that is why I put more into it).

All-in-all it was a good day and a nice end to the week.

Off to shower and get ready for the day.

Ladybug

What A Beautiful Day

I have just returned back from lunch - a walking lunch because the weather is so amazingly beautiful. It is nice to be working in the middle of everything so I could walk to the bank for a deposit and then on to SuperTarget to pick up some carpet cleaning supplies followed by drinking an A&W Vanilla Creme soda while making arrangements to re-join my gym with Heather.

Although I hate that it is getting dark at 6:00 p.m., I love the way the sun shines differently at this time of year. There is not one cloud in my visible sky. That is such a gift. I remember a time, not too long ago that lunch did not exist, and I don't mean food. Usually lunch was spent at my desk eating a quick bite from the cafeteria downstairs and trying to make up the time I took away from my office getting the food in the first place. In nine months I went out for lunch maybe 15 times. That is 15 days out of 270.

The other nice thing is that I got whistled at by a construction worker - ha ha!!! Mind you, I did not look over to acknowledge him and there well could have been a Pamela Andersen lookalike behind me, but I think that was just for me - and it made me smile a little on the inside while I seemd oblivious to it on the outside.

Well, back to work.

Ladybug

Almost the End

It is almost the end of the week and now the end of une petit era. I am home enjoying a little cognac before heading off for dinner with my old boss and friend. I have to get myself up for going because it has been a long day, but I am excited to try this new great restaurant in Atlanta called Eugene and to catch up on what has been going on since I saw D. last.

My mom is coming into town tomorrow and it could not be a better time for a family visit. I am taking her to see RiverDance at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta and we are going to have a girl weekend together, shopping having lunch and being together. Last weekend was her birthday so we are going to celebrate. She is a lovely woman - a true gem.

I hope you all are having a wonderful week as well!

LB

Dancing

Last night I returned to my dancing just like I wrote about a few posts below. I had done a couple of group classes in the weeks prior but this was my first engaged dancing session with my partner Andrew who moves like a snake. I swear he has no bones, just all rhythm-filled cartilage. As we worked through the cha chacha again, it was nice to feel my body remember the dance and my confidence grow with each step, each turn and each series of three-step cha cha cha's.

I have a long way back to where I was before I stopped dancing, but I am thrilled that my mind/body connection was still there for the basic moves. Now I just have to get back in touch with feeling the way the dance requires you to see yourself....that will be much harder for me - but I am determined to brush the cobwebs away and feel all the wonders of being a woman again. Trust me, you can't see yourself as frumpy and move the way you need to interpret the dance.

Friday night we are at it again, this time re-working me into Rhumba, a slow rhythmic dance that is about seduction and graceful lines. That ought to be good for a laugh on my part......

I have not been writing for a week or so just to have a break. I have not been as focused on writing what I think as much as I have on just having time to THINK, to plan and to execute on things that have been left to linger far too long. It feels good to be in that place and I am even having a hard time getting through writing this post.

I did, however, write this for Peter, because I don't want him to cry :-)

Take care,

Ladybug