Food 101

A friend of mine is a health nut and likes to cook. I applaud that in him. However - last night he made an attempt to challenge me in the kitchen arena...a move that I don't think was wise...

So, in rebuttal Mr. G... here is my dinner for tonight. Linguine with creamy pesto topped with sauteed shrimp, zucchini, squash, fresh parsley and garlic. You can't imagine how good this was...how was yours honey?? LOL

Just teasing...but don't challenge me again. I have you beat hands down in two areas....and you know it - ha ha ha ha ha!!!

xoxo,
Bug

Thinking About That Bowl

Dear ERF,

Hi there, it's me. I was just thinking about you and how our life used to be when we weren't "I's", you know when we were a "we".

I took Maggie for a long walk this afternoon around the golf course and then headed to Publix to get a few things for the fridge. It is still hard to get used to shopping for one. I used to be so good at the grocery runs - I knew exactly what we needed and what was on the menu for the week. I was always in the kitchen, remember?

I was driving home thinking that a tuna sandwich would be the way to go tonight. Can you believe I haven't made one for three years!? When I was driving home I was thinking about that bowl that I always used to use to make it in. The white one with the blue trim, and then I remembered that I gave it to you to keep when we separated. Funny how things like that make me remember times gone by.

As I stood at the counter tonight, chopping up the celery and onion I was feeling really alone because of my choice of a meal. It was our Saturday afternoon staple because I made the "best tuna sandwich you ever ate." We would each grab a sandwich and sit across from each other on the couch reading or watching a movie on t.v., whiling away the afternoon with no commitments, but to each other. There were two golden retrievers curled up on the floor at either side of us; one for you, and one for me. They are gone now too, like so many things we treasured.

I know things will never be the same for us again, and I am happy that friendship has settled upon us now, some four years later. We are both living our lives and doing the best we can. But you were my best friend for 13 years, and that is something that at times like these I miss.

Well, I am off to toast some bread and then get out the couch to watch a movie. Maggie will be curled up at my feet...but somehow tonight - my choice of dinner - and thinking about the right bowl to make it in made me miss you.

I hope you are well wherever you are tonight.

Love,
Mellissa

Friday Night Tales

It is Friday night and I am sitting home in my blue polka-dot flannel pj's waiting for my Chinese-takeout dinner and picking out a movie to settle in with. I had to go to the doctor again today as I have been having a lot of problems with my lower back and now my neck. It has been out all week and today found me not being able to turn my head to the left. I hate this!! I feel like I am getting old!!

So after a three hour muscle-relaxer induced coma and a good cry, I am up and groggy and hanging out with Maggie...yeah, you just gotta love that dog - through thick and thin, she is always right there with me...on the sofa, on the bed and ruling the house! I bought a little pillow in Chicago that says "A Spoiled Rotten Dog Lives Here"..but you know what..it is she who spoils me, with lots of unconditional love and loyalty. Now there is something to be happy about.

So I think I might have just found myself a friend...who is as loyal as Maggie. I guess that counts for a lot in the grand scheme of things.

Wishing you all a wonderful Friday night...where life might find you!!

xoxo,
Ladybug

Heaping Loads of BullCRAP

You know, I have about had it tonight. Actually, I have had it and I am standing up and saying enough is enough.

Why is it that those of us who are relatively normal are held to a higher standard than those of us who have issues? Anger issues are excused as hurt. "Oh, yes, but they were "hurt" and are trying to "heal" so stand there and take the abuse they dish out because they are just so wounded they can't help it. BullCRAP.

Maybe they have social nervousness so they drink too much and act like complete idiots and act in a hateful manner to those who are supposed to be their friends. "Oh, yes, but you are balanced and socially at ease so while it would not be o.k. for you to get drunk and to that, you need to understand that is how they act, it is not personal." BullCRAP.

Perhaps they are possessive and hold you to a standard that won't allow you to have a bit of leeway or a bad day. "Well, you need to just understand them and try to make it up to them if you weren't available when they needed you." BullCRAP.

Lastly, if a man is talking to you and chatting with another woman at the same time, you aren't supposed to get mad about it because they are just bad "multitaskers" that is why there is silence in your ear and only the sound of clicking keys on the keyboard." BullCRAP.

So tonight I have had enough of all of that. There is a me here too folks and you know what?? I don't have a lot of bullCRAP that I throw on people and just expect them to take over and over. Sorry that I am a normal person without mental, social, control or inconsiderate issues - but I DON'T, and I am sick and tired of making nice and rolling over for those who do.

You all better look out. Pollyanna is pissed off and fed up. No holds barred now, you give it and you're gonna get it right back and I guarantee that you won't like the smell of your bullCRAP when it is thrown back in your face.

Sunday Afternoon Wisdom

As I was walking out of the market this afternoon, two little boys around the age of 8 were standing outside the door with their skateboards. They were having an animated discussion and ended with one boy saying "Yeah, girls are weird."

I laughed out loud, and thought to myself..."You have no idea little men.." then I remembered that a girlfriend of mine was having a similar conversation last night about men...life sure is funny that way. We start out early not getting each other, and we never do!

xoxo,
Bug

Merry-Go-Round

Photograph by Mellissa - Le Jardin Des Tulieries

A merry go round holds fascination for us all. There are brightly colored horses that seem larger than life and for the first few turns they are magic. We dream of riding away on one of them, to escape into a world of amusement and joy.

But then we realize that these horses are all paint and wood and cannot carry us to where we dream. They can only move in a circle and offer us joy until the ride stops. Sometimes we ride again and forget we are in a circle because the music plays and the lights flash and all seems well. But then the music stops and the horses slowly return downward from their imaginary gallop to rest expressionless until the next rider mounts with the same dream.

The thing is, that it is of no matter - it is good to dream. It is good to climb up again and ride with your imagination at full sail. I wish to never forget that because if wishes were horses then beggars would ride!!

LB

Back In The Day

Today I was reminded of childhood, of vacation time and being carefree. I was a young girl with a mischievous twinkle and long brown braids. I was a happy kid.

Today I am thinking of creaking screen doors at the lake house and cantaloupe sprinkled with a little salt and taking our boat out on the lake. Safety and comfort provided by my father. Sun reflecting off ripples in the water. Sandy bottom visible from the dock and small fish looking for food.

I am listing to John Mayer over the computer and just remembering the good days of Summer in the South.

Watermelon put in the stream to chill and mom making lunch was the order of the day. I explored well beyond my boundaries looking for salamanders and ladybugs. My dad gave me my nickname one summer because of that. That is how I became Ladybug.

I had long legs and a never-ending tan – arms filled with bruises from climbing whatever was around me to scale. I need to be higher and see what the view was like. I was never bored. I was still in the discovery phase and the small things brought me joy and wonder.

So now as Winter is here and I am bundled up, drinking a cup of green tea and feeling overwhelmed by the tasks in front of me, I am taking a moment to remember the simple times, the warmer weather…and the joy of times past.

I hope you all are well…and happy this day!

Xoxo,
Bug

Special

You can be in a place among many, yet only one stands out in the crowd. Greetings at the elevator are followed by eye recognition and mental assessment. I remember your name.

Endless discussion about Blogging, politics, relationships and some “why’s” about the way things are. Intellectual conversation for sure…I wish I had asked more than I answered. That is something I am working on – but does not come naturally because I am afraid I will be asking too many questions.

Red’s, Lights, Cognac & Cuba Libre consumed in proper order. Walking towards the Redhead, holding on for more reasons that to keep from slipping and warmth. Great music, good laughter, cut close and blue eyes. Allemand.

So today as I am headed home, I am writing about this, and enjoying the memories of good times with friends both old…and new.

Xoxo,
Bug

Room With A View - And Two

I arrived just fine. Received lots of SMS notes to my phone from friends and co-workers - checking to see if I arrived o.k. It makes me feel good to know that people care about me like that. It makes me feel more connected in this big ol' world.

This is the view from my room - which is really beautiful, but cracks me up!! There are TWO full bathrooms in here! What the heck is up with that? I mean I am a single here..but I guess I will just close the door on one and just use the other. These are the things in life that make me wonder. I guess if I was part of a couple this would make more sense...

Well I am off to dinner - and bundled up tight because it is a cold night here in Chicago. Oh, and the city is just beautiful.

xoxo,

Bug

ChiTown!!

O.K. I am packed and ready - just hope I will be warm enough to face the temps in Chicago!! John Mayer is blasting in the house and the dancing around phase has ended and now the typing one last post before heading off is in progress ;-) It helps calm me and remember the things I might have forgotten to pack!!

I will take photo's from the road, as usual to share with you all! I am really excited to see all my friends again from around the globe as this is one of our international conferences. My friend Steve is coming in from Paris today and we will catch up over dinner tonight, the others all join on Saturday morning and genuine mischief will begin - all good natured and filling to the spirit!

GO BEARS!!!!!

xoox,
Bug

Making Ready

The house is very quiet with the exception of the dishwasher running the last load of coffee cups and Maggie's dishes. The rain has stopped falling and I am ready to head out for some last minute errands before heading up to work in Chicago for a week.

Laundry is completed, folded and put in its proper place, the house is spotless including adjusting the artwork on the walls and putting out fresh candles in the house. Bills are paid and taxes are completed and mailed. I have made everything ready...

The funny thing is, that the process of making ready is an easy one for me. There is not a huge list of things to do or a house to really put in order when you live alone. I was thinking about that today...the simplicity of being solo.

I was also thinking and wondering about when we all became so complacent and comfortable with this...why we don't take more chances to change our lives. It is really better this way, or so perfect and fulfilling that we chose to stay in this safe place and not venture out to something bigger/different/unknown?

I believe that we have become to measured, too set in our ideals and too closed. Actually, I am saying a lot of "we" but I really don't so much mean myself. I was reading someone's blog the other day and I laughed out loud about how they always write "we" this and "we" that. When you read the writings of this person, it is only comical really because the "we" is not accurate to the subject matter at hand as it really is about them just spinning in a concentric circle. Anyway, I digress...

I guess the bottom line is this. I can play this game of being alone and functioning and doing really well - and pretending that it is cool...but you know what - it isn't. This is not me at all. I think big, I dream bigger and I am not happy with dribs and drabs in life or in relationships. I don't want hold back in a relationship or in life. I am tired of being in neutral and waiting for someone to put me in gear in their timetable.

I am putting it in drive today - and living my life according to my wishes, hopes and dreams. And those are full-throttle, windows down and with road trip music playing. Life is too short to stay in neutral.

xoxo,
Bug