The True Meaning

It is a peaceful morning here at home. It started off with a quick prayer before my feet hit the floor at 5:30 to give Evan a bottle and let him settle back in for another hour of sleep.

I have been battling illness for over a month now - and more so since Evan started daycare back in August. My body took a ton of hits with colds and being constantly run-down from the rigors of life. It all culminated with a diagnosis of pneumonia right before Christmas and it scared me to death. I never expected to have pneumonia followed in short order by the stomach flu. I tell you, when it rains, it pours!

I am beginning a study on Proverbs called "A Woman of Value". It is a way to feed my soul as it has been impossible for me to make it to church this month - it seems that I have had Evan most weekends this month, or have been sick in between. I miss having a church family since I moved to Jackson from Atlanta. I miss being involved and connected, but this Sunday I am going to attend a non-denominational church here called Fellowship Church. I am looking forward to that - to see if it fits me.

I have also decided to plan two trips. One back to Atlanta for a weekend to connect to old friends and to visit my city, a place that I miss dearly. Atlanta fit me so well. I think I miss the trees and beautiful parks the most. I also miss the opportunities there and the tall buildings - so much interest for the eye, and you know me - I am a very esoteric, tactile person so that is important to me in many respects. I also am going to head to Stuart to bring Evan to see my brother and his family. I miss them and I want to go home to relax a little, sit by the pool and integrate with my people - the ones I love, but don't get to express it to nearly enough. I hate it that weeks and months slip by me so quickly and the gap between me and them grows larger. It is not that way in my heart, but distance is rough - I hate it.

In so many respects, I am looking forward to the coming year, to the newness of it all. I am ready to embrace things ahead of me, finally; finally. I have been given the gift of a peaceful heart and it is the greatest feeling in the world to have come into that area. I yearned for peace for almost 2 years and I crested the mountain peak this month. I was rewarded for my patience and my willingness to work through things and it feels so amazing to wake up and to go to bed with that feeling. It is certainly womb-like to my soul.

I hope that each of you that stops by had a very Merry Christmas and that you are well and happy!

xoxo,
Bug