Magnets

I was thinking this afternoon about magnets - or magnetic force. Do you remember when you were a kid and you had two magnets and you would hold them against each other to feel the force of them pushing away - only then to make a minor adjustment, flipping one of the magnets, and viola - they snap together in a tight fit?

I wonder about this in relationships - not just dating relationships, but friendships and family dynamics as well. I used to always feel like the magnet that had to flip over - to remove the force dynamic and make things snap. I realized though, that I am tired of flipping over while the other force stays static.

In dating it is the same way. I was speaking my mind to a friend over dinner the other night, stating a basic principle and I was told that pressure does not work, and that instead, investing in my dating "sales pipeline" was the way to go. The conversation was funny and lighthearted, but got me thinking.

Why should one person have to stifle needs, instincts and desire for closeness to flip into another's field. Is that fair - to be unfulfilled, but silently waiting, playing your cards right and hoping for the other party to flip....

Women go through this all the time and I give you examples:

1. Don't be too eager - check
2. Don't call the man - check
3. Pretend you are busy sometimes - check
4. Don't pull the DTR (define the relationship) card too early - check
5. Don't put pressure or state needs, the man will run - check (oh poor baby)
6. Wait until the man says he only wants to see you exclusively - check.

Well that is a lot of check boxes ladies - and although most are easy if you have any self respect, some are being executed at the expense of your expression, your personality, your wings.

So here is my edict. Six months is long enough. I am not flipping any more. Time to make a choice.

Not hatin' just sayin'

xoxo,
Bug