Sunday, October 01, 2006

What's Inside

Inside of you there is a twist of molten metal.
Your surface hides it for a while.
But skin is fragile and cannot hold your contents for long.
The metal burns through, bearing sharp edges.
You cut those around you as you become exposed.
How sorry I feel for them.
Inside of you there is a twist of emotions.
Your smile hides it for a while.
But smiles are fragile and cannot contain your fangs for long.
The emotions burst through, in spite and venom.
You puncture those around you with hate.
How sorry I feel for them.
Your hands tend the wounds you inflicted.
You look at it as kindness
Not realizing it is you who caused the damage
As the wound becomes infected, you recoil
And chastise the person for being careless around metal and fangs.
Never fully comprehending, they were a byproduct of you...

10 comments:

Lori said...

I'm so sorry someone has brought you this kind of pain.

Though being hurt by someone is so difficult, be thankful that you are the kind of person that will never be on the "giving end" of this kind of hurtfulness.

Zya said...

Wow. Bug, that is powerful, well written and heart breaking.
I can totally understand.

Oh hun :( *hugs*

Mellissa said...

Hi Lori & Zya,

This post is not written about me. I am doing creative writing exercises and some of what you see right now is coming from the therapy sessions I am sitting in on with the teenagers I am mentoring and volunteering with.

It is so powerful to hear their stories. One of the resonating themes is the person who hates you and thinks that they are loving you.

It is pretty difficult for me to process, so I have been writing about it in my own way. I do feel blessed to spend time with them, although it is hard emotionally to hear what they are going through.

This particular piece is a result of a story a boy named T. told in our group...it is about his father's anger.

xoxo,
Bug

Zya said...

Oh thats sad :(

People can be so blind sometimes. And they only know how to hurt when they are trying to love.

Rebecca said...

It's amazing how much damage parents can do to their children without even realizing....and some, they realize but don't seem to care. It makes me wonder why they had children in the first place..... ?

Cheryl said...

Reading your explanation and having an ex-husband who rages, this nails it. Nails it. Beautiful work, Mellissa.

Mellissa said...

Thanks Cheryl,

I am learning a lot through this process. I think on these things I hear from them a lot.

It is hard to make sense of it all. But I love seeing them smiling today...I just hate what was the reality of their yesterday.

David said...

That's cool that you do that for them. Students really look up to adults who listen to them. It is a sad story but a heart can always heal if we let it. I went with some friends to a boys home this weekend to hang out and play with them. It was so much fun, but some of them have sad experiences, too. Didn't hear many but hopefully we can go back again to get to know them. I hope you get some more chances to get to know them. Sometimes people with the most problems can actually be a blessing to us. Great writing and inspiration, despite the circumstance.

Mellissa said...

Thanks David,

They are really a special group of boys and girls. I actually brought Maggie along with me Monday night.

They were just to thrilled to have a puppy around. I could not help but smile seeing them nuture her and be so gentle.

xoxo,
Bug

David said...

Cool!