Easter's Coming....Again

It is hard to believe that another year has flown by. I remember learning about Eintstein's theory that the faster you go, the slower time passes. In effect because you accomplish more in the moment. You live more, see more, experience more; accomplish more in a day.

I don't know about that one. I lived fast and furious last year. Went everywhere, squeezed life out, had experiences that were rich and fulfilling...yet still time flew by and here is another Easter season....as if the last were only a week ago.

I remember this time last year I was in a relationship with Jim. We had been together about three months and he was making plans to go back home to Alabama for Easter. He has a large extended family and they all get together and celebrate. I wanted to go to, I wanted him to ask me to be a part of that. I wanted to go and celebrate Easter with a family. He didn't ask me, chosing to go alone. I stayed home and attended church with my girlfriends and participated in the Easter dinner with Kerri's large Italian family and some friends. It ended up being a nice day, but I still felt alone. I think I wrote a post that day about wanting family...Easter dresses and eggs and the like. Really, I wanted to be a part of him. I wanted that validation of inclusion.

This year finds me in a new relationship. One that is based on friendship with a huge dose of attraction and chemistry, but one that we are allowing to progress naturally and cautiously. Easter is here again and I will still be alone. I have been invited to my girlfriend Angie's house for Easter brunch after church, and again I feel like a stray cat. I want to be with Greg the most, to be around his family a little and spend some time with him while he has a few days away from his work. But the invitation is not there and I have accepted that. Stray cat.

Last night he knew that something was under my calm surface. He knows my patterns already and that bugs me. I can't figure out how it is that he can read me like a book, even when I try to be upbeat and non-verbal...he hears everything. I love that about him, and I hate that about him. There is no hiding out with this man. He is very in tune.

So now it is Thursday and I need to go ahead and set my plans. I need to accept the invitations from my friends for weekend plans, Friday night out, Saturday manicure with Kerri, workout and the gym pretty hard, Sunday church with the girls, and Sunday brunch with Angie. I am not chosing these plans as second best, as I love my girls with all my heart, but I can't help feeling a little down today...because in my heart, I really wanted to be in Jackson....

I hate Einstein at the moment ;-)