Life 101

I have a new direction and it is both scary and exciting.  I have a job interview on Friday with a great company which will pay me in my range and allow me to secure a good future for Evan and myself. I found a slot for him at a great school here and although I am not ready to leave him, I must. It is time to stand and do it, time to forge ahead and make life the best I can.

I looked in the mirror yesterday and actually recognized myself. I was able to put on a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans and move the maternity clothes out.

The last three weeks while I was away, I discovered some things, some truths that needed to come to light and they did with a vengeance and left me feeling pretty alone and worthless and ugly and sad. I am not Barbie, nor will I ever be. I used to joke that I am more the Skipper type - but when you find out that Barbie played with Ken and you were pregnant Skipper on the sidelines, you can't help but feel like you are ugly and worthless and unattractive.

But then I came home. I came back to what is mine - who I am , what I stand for, what I worked for. I came home to me and realized that I am a wonderful woman, I am beautiful and worthy and I gave myself a little room to shine again. I felt my smile and my bounce, I felt my worth and the power of who I am as a woman. I had a new start after difficult tests to take and I won't look back on leftovers and lies. Mind you I don't hate or hold a grudge. I let that all go on Easter Sunday. But I won't be putting myself back in the arena to which I never belonged. When you know better you certainly ought to do better.

So today I am doing better. I love who I am and I am happy. I have a beautiful

home, the promise of Spring, a job prospect and to top it all off -the most gorgeous son in the WORLD.  So take that BARBIE...and you can take KEN too while your at it.

I always liked Skipper better anyway...

xoxo,
Bug