Thank You

I laugh at myself a little more often these days. I recognize that girl in the mirror a little more every day and I find that I still like myself and feel good about the future - a testament to the spirit God kept alive inside of me all these months. 

I have some regrets that I wasted time and energy on emotions other than for Evan this year. I guess I was just coping the best way I knew how. I turned myself inside out and I searched for answers that were never to be discovered - and you know what, I have to let myself off the hook for that a little. I can truly say I did the best I could do in the situation and that time heals things that we never knew could be whole again. Don't get me wrong, I still am tender and there is a bit of scar tissue on my heart, but if I am asked about my life, I can truly and honestly say that I am happy - and I am at peace.

I have waited so long to say it and have truth behind it instead of merely saying it like a mantra to see myself through and fool others. I miss my family though. I don't have much time to talk anymore and being in the Central time zone when my family is in Eastern makes it even more difficult. I hope they don't think that I don't love them and think of them each and every day with a longing to be near to them because I do. I miss my family....so much!!

I have to peel myself away now to head to bed. I have enjoyed having this half hour to unwind and get ready for another week. I can't wait to greet Evan in the morning and feel his little hands grab ahold of my neck. The joy and mystery of life is in the little things - and the little hearts we protect. I am proud to say that I am good mother. It is the greatest accomplishment of my life, it is the thing of which I am the proudest. 

xoxo, Bug