The last couple of days have been difficult. No ability to concentrate on work; only reflections and analytics. Licking wounds, reminding myself of worth and core and self.
My shoulders would begin to shake for no reason and tears would come. I would go into the bathroom at work to compose myself, explaining to no one, certainly no one to reach out to as it would come as a great surprise to those who know me that I had been in a relationship at all.
Evan caught me crying once. I was ashamed for him to see me, but I explained that I lost a friend and I was sad. He prayed for me. My heart soared at the knowledge that my 3 1/2 year old understands prayer at such a young age.
I started writing again and praying in a more focused manner. Guidance, faith, portion, understanding and peace are the themes of my devotions to God. I am also being honest in my accountability for my part. I believe if you are internally honest, then blame has no place to take root in your soul.
I only feel peace today. I only wish my friend well. I smile for his hope. I long for his renewal. I wish him joy - always!
Happy Saturday!
Bug
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